Terrible Thames boat docked at Tower Bridge Quay

The Terrible Thames Boat Tour

What is the ‘Terrible Thames’ Boat Tour?

The Terrible Thames Boat Tour is a brand new sight seeing river cruise, sailing along the Thames in London. Ah, but not just ANY river cruise… This boat tour is an interactive cruise presented by the hilariously funny Horrible Histories team! You get to sail past the iconic London landmarks and hear all about their dark and gruesome past!

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My daughter is a huge Horrible Histories fan so we were thrilled to be invited on one of the first sailings of the Terrible Thames Boat Tour! There is no more fascinating a place than London, a capital steeped in history. We knew to expect lots of shocking and gory facts, along with plenty of laughs!

The Terrible Thames boat tour suggests that you’ll:

Tremble in terror at the Tower! Sizzle at the Savoy! Give Cleopatra the needle! Be washed away at Westminster! Lose yourself in Lambeth! Get gobsmacked by the Globe! Hold onto your head at London Bridge and escape from Execution Dock!

Take a dive with Horrible Histories into the stories of King Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn, Julius Caesar, the Duke of Wellington, Queen Boudicca, Jack the Ripper and Captain Kidd, in this history of the Thames with the nasty bits left in!


The Terrible Thames Boat Tour sets off daily from Tower Bridge Quay. Its on the North Bank of the Thames, right next to Tower Bridge itself. A truly awesome view to start your journey! We arrived very excited, taking in the London views and entered the Pier.

We arrived approximately 15 minutes before our allotted sailing time. Our tickets were scanned and we queued briefly whilst the previous tour disembarked. As we boarded our boat, we were filled with excitement to see what the next 45 minutes would behold. We chose our own seats before being greeted by our tour guides!

The Terrible Thames Boat
Eden on board the Terrible Thames Boat  Tour

The Boat Tour

During our tour, we saw so many amazing landmarks and each one had an exciting or gruesome story to tell. The facts came at us thick and fast, with so much information to take onboard. The animated tour guides kept even the younger guests entertained with their interesting tales about London’s past. Many of the facts I hadn’t heard of, so even I learnt something new! It was truly fascinating. I definitely had to concentrate to take it all in. There were plenty of ‘laugh out loud’ moments. We sang see shanties and learnt some pirate slang… It was a truly exhilarating, fact packed, fun packed tour of the river. The tour took around 45 minutes in total and we were delivered back to the pier where we started. It was a truly great way to see London from the this world famous River!

Tour guides on board the Terrible Thames River Cruise in London
Terrible thames boat tour guide
boat tour guide on the horrible histories boat tour

Here are some of the sights you can expect to see during your tour:

Map of London Terrible Thames Boat Tour
A view of Tower Bridge from the river
A view of the houses of parliament from the river
The London eye from the river

How to book:

Daily sailings are throughout the Summer from 17th July from Tower Bridge Quay. You can pre book tickets online on the Terrible Thames Website. To avoid disappointment, it is recommended that tickets are bought in advance. You can also purchase tickets on the day from the Pier itself.

How much are the Terrible Thames tickets?

For Tickets booked in advance:

  • Adult £22.00 (15+)
  • Child £14.00 (4-15)
  • Infant FREE (0-3)
  • FAMILY TICKET – £59.50 – 2 Adults and 2 Children or 1 Adult and 3 Children.

There is an additional charge for booking on the day.

What age is Terrible Thames suitable for?

All ages are welcome aboard. The tour is best suited for children aged 5 and over. Children under the age of 15 must be with an adult. Children aged 0-3 go free if seated on the lap of parent or guardian.

Where to find Terrible Thames River Cruise:

Tower Bridge Quay is situated on the north bank of the Thames, on the east side of Tower Bridge, and immediately in front of the Tower Hotel. The pier is approximately 10 minutes walk from Tower Hill Underground station. The postcode is E1Q 1LD.

what3words is an easy way to find and share exact locations, every 3 metre square has their own unique 3 word identifier. curiosity.pirate.rides is the unique 3 words for the location at Tower Bridge Quay.

Are there toilets on board?

Yes there are toilets on board the boat.

How long is the boat trip?

The Terrible Thames Boat Tour lasts for approximately 45 minutes.

All prices were correct at time of publishing. We were invited on a media sailing of the Terrible Thames, but all comments and opinions are strictly my own.

Whilst in London why not check out ‘Billionaire Boy West End Show‘. An hilariously funny family musical!

Horrible histories presents Terrible Thames River Cruise flyer

Check out the fun we had in our video:

Thank you for reading ‘The Terrible Thames Boat Tour’.

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Terrible Thames Boat Tour in London presented by Horrible Histories

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